8 December 2016
Dear Sunshine Liam,
I have been in confusion about the next weeks and months of our little family life for quite some time. For weeks, I have been chanting and asked the universe for guidance. The confusion and the anxiety got worse, while I painfully rejected the reality of what actually was. I rejected the truth in that your father didn’t want to put effort in being there for me, neither physically nor emotionally, and thus contributed my part to an intractable situation. I rejected the idea of giving birth to you alone. I rejected being a single mother. Today, I got a sign from the universe which couldn’t be misinterpreted. I finally understood that holding on to the idea of someone being your father, or of the ideal family, cannot help me in giving you the best welcome to this Earth that I can give you. Just like I once told you, letting go is a process that happens over and over again. One day at a time.
Once, not too long ago, I watched some documentary about grown up men who had spend their whole life without ever getting to know their fathers. They were visibly suffering by the absence of their parent, drowning in low self-esteem and the unbearable pain of having their father chose every single day to not be in their life.
I know, because I have been there too. One day, my father just left and remained a shadow of what I had known of him during my childhood. Not that I am anticipating this to happen, or that I am anticipating anything, I just let life happen to us, the way it flows, the way it wants.
The way we chose it, when our souls chose this particular life on Earth to learn the crucial lessons they were interested in – courage, love, letting go, resilience – whatever it is that is waiting for our human earth experience as spirits.
My love, please know that – whatever happens now or in the future – that you are loved. Know that you are worthy of love, and that whoever is causing you pain doesn’t cause you pain voluntarily. Hurt people hurt people. And you remain loved until the rest of time.
Thank you for choosing me, beautiful soul.